#3: LOVE YA! in Seattle
Three months in Seattle, WA was this song
One of the things I struggle most with is letting things go. Often, I want to hang onto a beautiful feeling or moment even though I know for my growth, I must let go.
It’s like that feeling I had when I was a young child, holding my mom’s hand as she dropped me off at kindergarten for the first time. We got out of the car, she took my hand, and we walked to the entrance together unsure what this new chapter would hold. As she let go of my hand, I looked back at her face where she warmly smiled at me and her eyes tearing up. Confused, and not sure how to feel, I smiled back at her and ran inside excited to start my first day not knowing how many more times I’ll have to let go.
My mom knew how important it was to let go of my hand back then. Now much older, I can see why tears were swelling in her eyes.
As I think about why I decided to leave Seattle for the time being, it was very much like that warm smile and eyes tearing up as I look back at the 20 years I spent in Seattle.
This was the city I grew up in. The place I cried, laughed, and created the most memories in. The streets where I learned to ride my first two-wheel bike, the first highway I had driven on, the many graduation stages I walked to receive my diplomas since elementary school, and the place that taught me how to love deeply through relationships I built or had to let go of.
I have to say, this past summer in Seattle was one of my favorites. I think it’s because I knew I would be going away for a while and that this more permanent feeling of being in Seattle will be replaced with me being in New York.
I subleased my Brooklyn room to a friend this summer and spent three months in Seattle doing whatever I could to embrace my family and friends. Quite literally giving lots of hugs, and spending quality time in our favorite places.
My fly out day was the first week of September — as that date slowly approached, this feeling deep inside of me started to consume me. It felt like a heavy dark blob of goo was staring at me disapprovingly. That blob of goo would constantly repeat back at me, “Why are you leaving when everything is SO good here?”
I pushed my fly-out date by one week and almost pushed it back one more week. Out of panic, I decided to go through my camera roll and scroll through all the highlights that made this one of my favorite summers.
I decided to make this short video to pay tribute to how much I love Seattle.
People ask why I take so many photos and videos — I don’t really know why I do, but there’s something so special capturing a memory and feeling through a single click of a button. Capturing a smile. Capturing a giggle. Capturing friends in my hometown both smiling & giggling.
I know how quick time flies and know how much I miss things that happened in the past. I take so many pictures and videos because I never want to forget my 20s. These moments in my life that won’t always be like this or the same again.
That just maybe today through this video, I can go back and be there once again.
That through this video it’d be a little bit easier to let go. That sometimes even when things are “SO good” that “SO good” doesn’t always mean you’re growing in the way you need.
I’m not running away from anything — I’m running towards a version of myself I haven’t met yet.
🍜 Leah